As I felt my heart beat race up i realised it wasn't steady anymore, it was racing. All i wanted was for it to end, for the pain to seep away and release the heartache from uncontrollable sobs.
I was nearly conscious, i could hear him speaking softly to me now, his reassuring tone was welcomed by my terrified thoughts. He was here for me, and everything would be okay, nothing else could happen.
Lifting my head slowly, the flood of tears escaped as my eyes focused on my Dad, just as it had the time before and the time before that. The only man i could really ever trust and be inspired by, in my life. The only person who could feel my pain by just holding me as i fitted for around 30 second, until my body couldn't take anymore and gave up.
To see him crumble when i woke, hurt me. It hurt me more to see him hurting, but i couldn't change it, it would never go away.
I had JME (Juvenile Myochlonic Epilepsy) and it would be that way for the rest of my living life.